Brush it forward a little more, it'll hide your bald spot.

Ewww-Fido...that abscess is worse than we thought!

Is that the Chia Pet you got for Christmas??????

Barny, put that man back where you found him? He's owners will miss him.

You were the one who thought it was a good idea to teach him how to play fetch with shiny billiard balls.

I said "go get the ball Guy, not go get the bald guy."

It used to be a dog-eat-dog world. Now look what we've come to ...

Good boy Rover.
Did you find him at the bar or the bowling alley this time?

I like your new toupee, I guess it's guaranteed not to fall off.

Doea that come in red?

Bad Dog! I meant a veteran, not a vet

"He heard the economy has gone to the dogs - you can't blame him for trying to get ahead."

honey, have you been wearing your milk-bone toupee again?

I see you've had a dog day afternoon!

"Where's the milk and loaf of bread?"

"Dog got your head?"

"Ruff day again Howard??"

What's this, you're trying to Spike your hair now?

My day was terrible honey. I got pulled over for speeding, my boss yelled at me, and I've had a headache all day long.

Not tonight honey, I have a headache.

"I guess Fido didn't recognize you without your toupee!"

Honey, what a doggone good looking hat you have!!!!

I have heard of dog breath...but dog head??????

Guess he didn't like the price you gave him for his life insurance renewal.

Honey, I didn't get the missionary position because the interviewer said my style was too doggy.

By the way, we are out of dog food.

Now...I know I've considered you a bonehead for years but I never knew Fido thought so too.

Apparently his bite is worse than his bark

"Oh, Rover. The coprophagia is bad enough, but THIS is absolutely disgusting."

Speaking of bad hair days.........

Hair from the dog that bit you only works for hangovers Murray, not for baldness.

Bacon shampoo was a bad idea.