One mom I spoke with said that her first manicure (not a mani-pedi) was on her wedding day. You make the monster.....you feed the monster(s).

Wow. I can't believe this pathetic story was posted. Next time you are "lying face down on your driveway", exhausted from the Homecoming "Experience", why don't you take the time to think about the kids who don't have this experience. Did you think for a moment how the parents of kids who aren't "popular" and experience this feel after reading this? Worse yet, how about the kids who are sitting home during this weekend who were not asked to go, or whose parents can not afford to "hand over their wallet to the beauty gods" in preparation for this event. And, these kids who have had to listen to the chaos about Homecoming for 2 months prior. You have every right to enjoy your kids and ride the high from the excitement of a Homecoming Weekend. My kids also enjoyed participating in Homecoming Weekends for several years, with all the bells and whistles too. However, it is extremely classless and insensitive to throw this in the faces of others. Here's a thought.....maybe if the parents around the North Shore show more empathy and kindness to others, it will rub off onto their kids.

It is not necessary to make a dance experience into something so incredibly stressful. My daughter went to all of the dances. One year she borrowed a dress. And senior year, she wore the same dress she had worn sophomore year. She did her own hair and her own nails. I bought a dress and shoes and everything else was on her own dime. These occasions are good opportunities for real life lessons. Just because someone else is doing it does not mean that it is mandatory. I think it is the parents that are allowing these special occasions to spin out of control.

Yes, Janet but you have to understand that this is Deerfield where all the moms run around and make sure their hair and nails are perfect every day. They are obviously making sure their daughters follow in their footsteps. And while they're at it make sure that any other mom or daughter that doesn't fit the north shore mold is bullied and excluded. But other than that it's a beautiful experience.

Can't get a date?

It's not a problem for the rest of us. We got our own, and fine ones, because we did what it took to get them. Nobody gets a date for you, in the real world.

Maybe that's why people vote for Obama. They think somebody else can and should make their life work for them, when they themselves can't be bothered to do what it takes.

If you think you're a loser, you are 100% correct!

Get a REAL problem!!!!!!!

Holy crap people. She was just trying to write a little fluff story. No reason to gang up on her.

Hi -- this is Lisa Barr -- writer of this blog. Please note that this was meant to be humorous -- a tongue-in-cheek blog. The seriousness of being left out is extremely painful on any front for a child of any age. As a Mom of three teenage girls -- I experience girl drama on a daily basis. And truthfully, nothing hurts our kids more than peer rejection, or as one reader described -- not being asked to a dance. These are subjects that I tackle on my blog GIRLilla Warfare: A Mom's Guide to Surviving the Suburban Jungle (www.girlillawarfare.com) with the sensitivity it deserves. I truly appreciate your comments -- but please note that while it was all true -- it was meant to be a lighter-side-of-life look at homecoming/prepping in terms of the contrast of being a Girl Mom versus a Boy Mom. All the best, Lisa

This is the most ridiculous story I've ever seen. When I was in high school, I was given a budget for homecoming of $100. If I went over that, I paid the difference. That was for dress, hair (which I did myself) makeup (which I did myself) mani/pedi, EVERYTHING.

You are the checkbook because you choose to be. My parents gave me a budget and anything I went over was on me. Teach your children some responsibility. If I ever treated my parents as a punching bag or checkbook, that $100 would've been GONE and I'd be left to completely fend for myself.

Calm down, people. It's just a humorous article. Please get lives.

I think this is a sweet story. The part about her daughter saying "Mommy, what do you think?" even made me a little teary. I am confused as to why all these commentors bothered to read an article about a mom getting her daughter ready for homecoming...and most of them men! haha! Nothing better to do than read every article on the Patch and then poke fun at the author? And put down women who do their hair every day? Sheesh. I wish I had time to go see what you wrote about the article on chickens but I have a life to get back to...

It's obvious that the "haters" of this article either have no sense of humor, or have no daughters. I too have 3 daughters. They are fun, and lively, and beautiful, and never ever ever lack for drama. It doesn't matter whether you're rich or poor - girls are girls and when they grow up to be women, they're still overly dramatic. I got a kick out of the article. I went to her blog after and read some really great articles. Some were funny, some were sad, and some had really great lessons to learn from. Keep em coming.

Pete, my comments by no means discount the fact that there is NOTHING in the world like a teenage female. That is a given. My point is only that parents have to be careful not to be completely drawn into the drama and realize that these crises are not life threatening.

I have a daughter at Glenbrook North and every word rings true - and the story made me cry - because this year was my last GBN homecoming ritual - The tongue in cheek was not lost on me - I have done this eight times (two girls) and every time is a memory I will cherish when my little one (17) goes away to college next year - don't listen to these people - sure there are people with serious problems in the world but the story was delightful.

I also have done it four times with my son - and instead of a treadmill he was at the gym - today he is 25 and running in the marathon this weekend. They grow up too fast. Savor every moment.

There is truth to this...I have boys and my oldest son took about 10 minutes to get ready for prom in May: a quick shower and then a few minutes trying to figure out how to put the cufflinks and tie on, and voila, he was done.

My son and all of his friends told me the other day the only reason they goe to these dances is to try to score tail at the after party. Is this standard for the current generation. Im not sure if i should be mad or just lest it be. Any comments or thoughts?

Lisa:

Tough crowd! As a father of two girls wherein, the oldest just entered 6th grade, I loved the tongue in cheek article and found it humorous with a lot of N Shore truth in it. I get the drama part 100%! Cute article and I will take the time to visit your blog! Congrats on your survival and your pride in the end result!

Hi everyone. Lisa, thank you so much for sharing this blog post! I think there are lots and lots of Patch readers who are parents and love a humorous post they can relate to.

And thank you to those of you who commented. We ask that you keep it civil (and even better would be kind!) with your comments. I deleted a comment that was profane. (Yes, we know what you mean with those $$. Please don't use that language!) I think this is especially important on posts about teenagers. We're raising our children in a world where cyberbullying is a real concern, causing depression and suicide to the young people we love. It would be great if we as adults could set a better example than that.

Thank you!

Tara Tesimu
Senior Regional Editor

lovely! spoil your kids ! let them go throw your hard earned money! and yeah while you are working on looking "prom perfect" make sure you laugh/ bully the girls who haven't been asked to join in the festivities!

and Steve , I feel your pain about your son not being included because be did not have a date: a very long time ago I was similarly excluded and humiliated by " so called friends" and at that time despite the fact that most of the parents knew this not even one person cared or spoke up for me!

Know what I told my son when he was in high school and a football star and didn't have girlfriend and felt as if he "had" to go to homecoming and spend a boatload of money on some random girl? I told him I would pay him NOT to go through all of that just so some girl could live out some princess fantasy that her parents were allowing her to do.

He chose the money. He spent it on dinner and movies with other buddies who also didn't go because they didn't want to blow money on something society pressures these kids into doing. And yeah, a lot of them were also footballers. Too bad, so sad all you girls who were trying to chase these guys down and snag them for your dates. My son instead, asked a girl out on some other date, a date of HIS choosing and without all the absurd hoopla.

And what's with the dramatic periods after each word in your headline? That has been so overdone and is such a cliche. You want to be a writer? Try being a bit more original.

I can see the humor in the article. I think that a lot of North Shore parents go over the top, spending $ on limos, pictures, parties before the dance, after the dance, dinners, etc.
What these parents don't know, is, is that they are setting their kids up, to "expect"
that kind of treatment all the time.Its crazy.
Kids that "do their own nails, wear a dress more than once", are learning some valuable life lessons. Kudos to the mom of that young lady.

Not in Deerfield. Only the best for our coddled sons and entitled daughters. If you really want to teach them a lesson they get a new Audi instead of a Beamer when they turn 16.

Yes, that sets those kids up for big failures. Why? Because they don't have to work towards goals. They become whiny adults.
Kids are better off when their parents don't hand them everything on a silver platter. I have a kid in college, straight A student, has a job, apt, takes care of his life. Other than helping him out a little financially, he is on own. He pays for his apt, car insurance, food, has student loans. He is much better off in life than the kid, who has mommy & daddy at 21, handing him everything. Of course, he wouldn't agree! But really in the end, he will be a stronger adult than that kid who didn't have to anything to get everything. Because we all know, life has challenges.

I just want to clarify the point that I was trying to make this morning. Obviously, the writer was writing this as a humorous blog. I was just trying to point out to her and others that took this as "humorous and tongue-in-cheek", that for many people, it is a harsh reminder of what many others can not do and enjoy. Besides the financial aspect, I am talking about kids who have low self-esteem, disabilities, or who just lack social skills. It is emotionally difficult for these kids and their parents to deal with these issues on a daily basis. What I am trying to say, is how do you think this blog makes people feel who don't experience this type of event, whether it is not being invited to a school dance, birthday party, or Bat Mitzvah? IT FEELS AWFUL! Enjoy your kids and family, but when writing such a blog, think about the feelings of others. How would you feel if you read this blog, and were the kid or the parent of a kid who was always left out for WHATEVER reason? Be kind and sensitive to the feelings of others.
PEACE

As one of my sons gave the reply a month ago when I asked him if he was going to the Homecoming dance, " Mom, are you serious?, the football game is more fun and exciting than a dance. You don't have to get dressed up, you drive yourself to the event,you get to sit outside with a huge group of friends and you go after to get something to eat for under twenty dollars. Date or no date, everyone has a great time and acts themselves, so my answer to your question is no." After that lengthly answer I was happy that he was comfortable with his decision. On another note, my son who graduated last year is driving six hours from his college to attend the game this year. It will be a non stressed week end for this house !

The writer was trying to be amusing and she was. Whether you choose to laugh with her or at her is up to you--just remember what should be our mantra, especially here on the North Shore--be kind. Look at the venom we spew--any wonder why kids too are mean? There are real issues of self-esteem, bullying, eating disorders and drugs, everyday. It is a struggle for many. Try a smile and a little kindness. It can go a long way.

There is a serious bullying and exclusion problem on the North Shore, particularly among middle school and high school girls. Now, I'm not saying the author or her children are part of the problem, but articles like this certainly don't make them part of the solution. I don't care how "funny" or "amusing" they are. A real journalist would tackle the issue instead of making light of it.

The words I'm about to write may receive some negative feedback too but here's something to ponder. Recently at a mtg we were discussing various homecoming traditions in our differing schools. One person told how the students take the money they would have spent on hair, dress, mani, pedi, shoes, limo, after party, etc. and it was used for the school charity drive. They have a dance...just not all the extras. My daughter spends apprx. $200 per dance (she's not a big spender) so that's at minimum $600 a year. I know some kids spend more, some less. But can you imagine the money they would raise for a worthwhile charity!? Not to mention that the money would be from their personal sacrifice, not because mom & dad wrote a check at a silent auction. It called to mind how a friend was exasperated with her 15 yr old who was adamant about signing up for one of those trips to "do good will projects" in poor tropical countries. The teen tried every argument from improving Spanish speaking skills to the glowing service blip she could include on her college resume. The cost of the trip...$12,000. The answer was no but the girl has two friends going next summer. Forest...take note.

Lmao...you people are hilarious! It's Homecoming... For those that can't go and are disappointed, it's a LIFE lesson. Why must Everyone be involved? To be fair? Really? Lots of kids think the whole thing is silly and choose not tp participate, others live for the drama. At the end of the day, it's a HS dance. Does any of it really matter, I think not! As the dad of 3 kids I have will have 12 Homecoming nights, my kids know it's an insignificant night in their lives, that is meant to be a fun "practice" night for formal nights in their ADULT lives.
Cute article about the drama of girls living life to excess and the parents that feed that type of lifestyle. Makes me thankful I have popular kids that understand the realities in life.

I tried to see the sense of humor in the article. Unfortunately, I could not. Back in my day, the group went for dinner or the guy ate at the girls home. After the dance, the guy took the girl home and that was it, No all nighters, no rides on boats, no after dance bowling. For g_d's sake, there were real curfews back then. Homecoming is a dance...not prom. And, the groups that did manage to go out or sneak around afterwards, were the kids who achieved the not-so-nice labels since what else is there to do, for kids(under 18) after a certain timeframe? Yeah, the so called 'popular' kids were getting into trouble and not in a good way. The good kids, went home and were safe. Today, it's even more of a problem. Parents, keep your eyes open and have the birthcontrol/drug/alcohol discussions with your kids..Both Females and Males. Your kids are doing more now, at an earlier age, than they ever did and it is the parents who are basically giving the license/freedom to do so.... How much did your family spend on the Homecoming? And, just wait until Prom!!!!!.

Overspending on your kids is a trap for both you & them. I am grateful that I have never been in the upper middle class & had to deal with all that crap. Parents who are overspending: is your house paid off & your retirement secure? Do you have a 9 month emergency fund in case that big job goes bye-bye? Somehow I doubt it. Incidentally, all this is the reason those of use who grew up in STC in the 70's can't stand it anymore. Seriously.

In defense of the boys, there is much more to their homecoming ritual than just showering. Here was the list of activities this year:
3 weeks prior: Come up with a cute, creative and memorable method of asking the girl to go with you. Hopefully she says yes! Start working extra shifts at work to pay for the evening. Purchase homecoming tickets from school bookstore.
2 weeks prior find out what color dress she will wear and purchase new shirt & tie to coordinate. Have your hair cut. Negotiate with Father on what car you can drive that evening. Coordinate with your other guy friends about how much you can spend on the evening & make dinner reservations. Work extra shifts in order to have enough money for the evening.
1 week prior: Order corsage that coordinates with the girls dress. Keep working extra shifts to pay for the evening.
Day of homecoming dance: Get up early, fill approved car with gas (because Dads not paying for your date!). Pick up corsage at florist (and pay for it) Bring car home, wash & wax it & vacuum. Pick up girl, take photos & meet her parents. Take her to dinner (again boy pays). Escort her through a lovely evening. Take her bowling (again, boy pays) Drive her home safely, and then drive yourself home making it back by curfew.
Still think teen boys have it "easy".

As a mom of 3 boys, I think you're stretching it! Let's face it, most moms buy the shirts and the ties (and even order the corsages), and if the boys do pick them out at a store, they spend about 5 mins. tops doing it. Wash, wax and vacuum the car? I wish! LOL! Fill approved car with gas? More like, if the car doesn't have gas they will be stopping somewhere along the way to fill it - or even better solution - take the girlfriend's car (or carpool with friends). I know I could write a book about HOW LITTLE time and thought boys put into prepping for these things!

Dan, I just deleted your comment....no profanity, please, even the shortened version.

Yes, because we all know it's soooo stressful to be a suburban soccer mom in today's society. Sometimes the nail shop is totally booked! How DO you do it? Those tennis lessons are getting more expensive every year! How do you make ends meet?

5 years ago, I probably would agree, cute story. These days, having been unemployed for a LONG time and OVER 50, its not that cutesy to me right now. I still have bills to pay, kids in college, etc and absolutely monied out. I am glad there are people here on the north shore that can give their kids everything they ever dreamed of, but the reality is.....? big daddy might just lose his job tomorrow. You never know when it could happen to you.