I Did Time for Attacking the Boss: 12 Horrible Real-Life Resume Blunders

Does your resume proclaim "you've got to hire me" or does it scream "stay the hell away" to a potential employer? Patch's friends at Career Builder and Aol Jobs assembled the 12 Worst Real-Life Resume Blunders based on a survey of hiring managers across the country.

1. Résumé was written in Klingon language from Star Trek
2. Résumé was submitted from a person the company just fired
3. Résumé's "Skills" section was spelled "Skelze"
4. Résumé listed the candidate's objective as "To work for someone who is not an alcoholic with three DUI's like my current employer"
5. Résumé included language typically seen in text messages (e.g., no capitalization and use of shortcuts like "u")
6. Résumé consisted of one sentence: "Hire me, I'm awesome"
7. Résumé listed the candidate's online video gaming experience leading warrior "clans," suggesting this passed for leadership experience
8. Résumé included pictures of the candidate from baby photos to adulthood
9. Résumé was a music video
10. Résumé didn't include the candidate's name
11. On the job application, where it asks for your job title with a previous employer, the applicant wrote "Mr."
12. Résumé included time spent in jail for assaulting a former boss

The 5 Most Costly Resume Mistakes

• Résumés that have typos - 58 percent
• Résumés that are generic and don't seem personalized for the position - 36 percent
• Résumés that don't include a list of skills - 35 percent
• Résumés that copied a large amount of wording from the job posting - 32 percent
• Résumés that have an inappropriate email address - 31 percent

How Many Pages?

Sometimes it's not what you write on your résumé, but it's how much you write that can turn an employer off. If you're a new college graduate, 66 percent of employers think your résumé should be one page long. For seasoned workers, the majority of employers (77 percent) say your résumé should be at least two pages.

— by Debra Auerbach, Career Builder, via Aol Jobs